Solitude & Sereni.tea

This is me at 3 years old. I am a bunny,

This morning, I wrote a love letter to my six year old self (I sadly don’t have a photo of me at that time). Six year old me needed a lot of love. She experienced a lot of hurt. And she carried a lot of shame for a very long time. She feels like all the terrible things that happened to her and to the world are all her fault, and she is so sorry for all of them. She was painfully shy, mostly for her own protection.

For years, I had been told that it would be helpful to write a letter to that girl. A girl, who prior to that time, loved to twirl, and sing, and get dirty, and eat and decorate cupcakes. A girl who loved to tell knock knock jokes and slide down banisters. A girl who disappeared when some pretty terrible things happened to her, when she turned six years old. But I just couldn’t allow myself to go back to that place. And this morning I went back, because she needed me. I wrote her a letter absolving her of all that responsibility and trauma that she carries. Giving her the love that she so badly needs and deserves. And she is now inside me and so happy.

This morning, we cried together. And then we smiled together. And then we laughed. And danced together. And this afternoon, we are going to the park and we are going to twirl until we get dizzy and collapse in fits of laughter.

We are so full of love, and light, and happiness. ❤